


We Say I love You But We Ain't Together

by missmaple



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Aren't we all?, Dorcas Meadowes - Freeform, F/F, Girls Kissing, Girls in Love, Harry Potter - Freeform, Internalized Homophobia, Kisses Though, Lesbian Marlene McKinnon, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marlene Mckinnon - Freeform, Pining, and a bit of internalized homophobia, and a little sad, cute and sad and gay, dorlene, girls, it's cute!!, my creativity has limits, so much, wlw, yes the title is from a king princess song
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:08:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27827278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missmaple/pseuds/missmaple
Summary: Dorcas and Marlene are not together. But somehow living, eating and sleeping with someone you're *not* in love with because you're *not* gay is more complicated than it seems.
Relationships: Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Minor Wolfstar - Relationship, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, dorlene - Relationship, minor jily - Relationship
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	1. Homegirl

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!! This is the first chapter of something that I have thought about for months without executing. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> My Tumblr is: youngmissmaple <3

Dorcas smiled as Marlene got closer to her mouth. Her lips felt soft and warm as they ghosted over her cheeks. Small puffs of breath against heated skin. The tingling sensation of anticipation and soft hums of appreciation. Marlene was too focused on teasing Dorcas’ lips to notice the way a hand slowly crept up her side and slipped under her shirt. It wasn’t until it settled on her ribs, thumb dangerously close to her sensitive nipple that she gasped loudly. Dorcas leaned forward and caught her lips in a kiss in an attempt to quiet her. A muffled laugh and then a quiet moan as the kiss deepened. 

The two girls had stayed at the school to study while their friends had gone to Hogsmeade for the day. However, their books and parchment had not been given much attention for several hours. It wasn’t easy to find a place to be alone at Hogwarts, seeing as there were hundreds of other students also trying to find a place to be alone. 

Dorcas leaned back against the pillows as Marlene straddled her hips. Once again Marlene was teasing her lips but this time Dorcas dug her hand into the blonde locks on Marlene’s head. A gentle tug was all that was needed for Marlene to give up and press down against Dorcas. 

The heat and friction of another body made Marlene’s pulse pick up. She felt more than heard a deep moan from Dorcas as she had placed her hand on her neck. Dorcas’ mouth against her lips, cheek, neck, chest felt like it was leaving burn marks. The sounds she was making was almost embarrassing but it didn’t matter, it was so, so good. Too good. 

In one quick motion Marlene pushed herself off of Dorcas and turned her back towards her on the bed. 

”Wha…? Marlene?” Dorcas’ voice was still filled with arousal and her question sounded almost like a whine. Marlene didn’t turn around. 

”I- I have to go.” She stood up and started buttoning her shirt that Dorcas had unbuttoned just minutes prior. 

”Ok.” Dorcas sat up and ran a hand through her hair. Her face was still flushed and her lips a bit swollen. Marlene sighed as she turned to look at her. ”Why? The others won’t be back yet.” 

”No, I know but I don’t think I should stay.” The tone in Marlene’s voice had changed and she was now looking at Dorcas with annoyance. ”I actually need to study.” 

Dorcas stared at her and snorted. ”Yeah, right.” 

Without another word Marlene picked up her shoes and slammed the door behind her. Dorcas looked around their dorm and sighed. Both of their books laid peacefully on the desk. She rubbed her face. Marlene running off in the middle of them making out was not something new. She had been doing that since this started a few months ago. At first Dorcas had thought it was cute and let her be but as time went on it had started being less cute and more frustrating. It wasn’t that fun kissing someone who ran away. 

Without the heat from another body Dorcas started shivering. Autumn was well on its way and she pulled a dark knitted sweater over her head. Her long dark hair was messy from Marlene’s hands and as she looked in a mirror she could clearly see a dark spot forming on her neck. 

A few minutes later she wandered down the stairs towards the common room and found Marlene in one of the big chairs by the fire. She had a glass like look on her face and didn’t react when Dorcas sat down in the other chair. They didn’t say anything. 

After what felt like half an hour Marlene started making small noises. Dorcas pulled her gaze from the fire but saw it again in the reflection of Marlene’s overflowing eyes. She got up and picked up a blanket. 

”Are you cold?” She held out the fabric for Marlene to take. Her voice was almost a whisper and she tried to sound as comforting as possible.

”No.” Marlene snarled. Instead of taking the blanket she curled up even tighter in the chair. With a sigh Dorcas sat down again. ”I’m not a lesbian, Dorcas.” Marlene almost spit the word out. 

A familiar sinking sensation settled in Dorcas’ stomach. She didn’t turn to look at Marlene. As she spoke she felt her jaw tighten. ”I know, Marlene. You’re just pract-” 

”No, I mean I’m not a lesbian and that means we can’t continue this shit.” Marlene cut her off and spoke so fast it was almost hard to hear what she had said. But as their eyes met Dorcas could see that the Marlene she had been making out with earlier was not the Marlene that was sitting across from her now. This Marlene was sad, cold and mean. 

Before Dorcas had time to respond the portrait hole opened and in seconds the common room was filled with students. 

”Marls! Hey- Marls!” A voice cut through the buzz and soon a flushed and bright-eyed Lily was standing in front of them. ”Oh, hi Dorcas.” 

Marlene’s tears had miraculously dried and she was now beaming at her best friend. Dorcas smiled at Lily and got up. Her chest hurt and she wasn’t in the mood for conversation. On her way through the crowd she kept her eyes glued to the stairs and refused to look back. She didn’t feel the eyes that followed her from one of the big chairs. 

The following hours consisted of Lily, Mary and Alice talking about and showing off the things they had acquired in Hogsmeade. All while Marlene and Dorcas tried their best to avoid each other. They were being quite successful, with Dorcas sitting with her face buried in her Herbology book. However, none of them missed the not-so-subtle glances their friends kept giving each other. 

-

Dorcas woke up early and laid in bed listening to her friends breathing. Lily, Alice, Mary and Marlene. Her friend, Marlene. The first time they met Dorcas had been scared to talk to her. Marlene was a very loud and very pretty girl and Dorcas was shy and felt awkward next to her. 

~

”Hi! I’m Marlene McKinnon!” The blonde girl with a hand outstretched and a blinding smile was the first girl that had talked to Dorcas since they had left the train station. She had an accent that Dorcas recognized but couldn’t place. ”We’re roommates!” 

Dorcas looked around the room she had just stepped into. Five beds, three windows, five desks, a door that must lead to the bathroom and an 11 year old girl still with her hand outstretched. Dorcas took a few steps towards the girl, Marlene. 

”Dorcas” She felt her voice fail her when it came out as a whisper. ”Dorcas Meadowes” she tried again. Marlene smiled, not as big as before but friendlier. 

”Dorcas” Dorcas blushed hearing her name in Marlene’s accent. It was soft but evident. She grabbed Marlene’s hand and shook it to have something else to do. 

The door opened again and two more girls fell in. One with fiery red hair and the other with big round glasses. Dorcas thought they looked nice but not as nice as Marlene. She had never met anyone who looked as nice as Marlene. 

”Hi! I’m Marlene McKinnon and this is Dorcas Meadowes! We’re your roommates!” 

Lily and Mary, the other two girls, shook their hands and started unpacking. Dorcas smiled when Marlene choose the bed next to her. 

~

Dorcas felt the fresh sun beams on her face and she yawned and stretched to wake up properly. A sigh from the bed to her right made her turn her head. The blonde hair that flowed over the pillow in the bed to her right was a mess. It was always a mess in the morning. Marlene had for a long time tried to find a spell that would make the curls stay neat and soft throughout the night, but without success. 

Dorcas hated that she knew that. She hated that that blonde bird nest made her stomach drop and her heart ache. She hated that she was so close but just not close enough. She hated it. But mostly she hated that she didn’t hate Marlene at all. 

-

Three days later Marlene and Lily was on their way to the owlery. Lily was explaining how she was trying to tell her sister about how the currency works in the wizarding world. Marlene was trying to listen, she really was. But there was this burning in her chest that just wouldn’t go away. Her mind was foggy and she couldn’t concentrate. Last night she had tried saying good night to Dorcas but instead of responding Dorcas had just turned around in her bed, ignoring Marlene. This morning a shirt that Dorcas had borrowed months ago laid neatly folded next to Marlene’s feet when she woke up. And even though she had missed that shirt it had made the burning even stronger. 

Marlene pulled a face and hurried along with Lily through the corridor. Desperately trying to listen to Lily’s words instead of her own brain she rubbed her face and turned her attention to her friend. 

”–and I was telling her about how 17 Sickles makes a Galleon and that therefor 493 Knuts are also a Galleon…”

As the door to the owlery swung open Lily stopped talking. Dorcas stepped out and smiled, at Lily. She didn’t look at Marlene. She couldn’t look at Marlene. Dorcas was determined to not let herself give in. She wouldn’t let Marlene McKinnon break her heart. They hadn’t talked in days but she still found long, blonde strands of hair on her shirts and in her bed. Marlene was everywhere and she couldn’t breathe. It was bad enough to have to share a dorm and classes with her, she didn’t need Marlene’s things everywhere as well. The shirt she had returned this morning had been bothering her for a long time. The sleeves were too short and not her colour at all. She was glad to give it back actually. 

”The stairs are a little slippery, so watch out” Dorcas said with as much cheer as she could muster. Lily thanked her and glad to leave, headed up the stairs. Marlene stayed in front of Dorcas. Both of them stayed silent and there was a thick, cold layer of stubbornness and anger between them. Dorcas’ legs wouldn’t move. She stood there, quiet as Marlene tried to not look at her face. The distant murmur of people talking further down the corridor and the soft singing from a painting nearby were the only things breaking the silence. 

Dorcas took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She opened her mouth and was just about to say something when- 

”Marlene?” Lily’s voice from above cut through their bubble and brought them both into movement. Dorcas shut her mouth and swore she could see a bit of a blush creeping up Marlene’s neck. A familiar feeling of fondness shot through Dorcas. As Marlene’s long, blonde hair almost touched Dorcas’ face when she went for the stairs Dorcas couldn’t help but to breathe in the scent. She regretted it almost immediately as she felt a tug in her chest and a punch in her stomach. It hurt. Seeing, smelling, hearing, touching Marlene hurt. 

At the top of the stairs Marlene found Lily trying to get an owl to stand still long enough for her to fasten a letter to it’s leg. It was one of the big, old owls that students were allowed to use if they didn’t have their own. Trying to not get her hands scratched Lily was giving the bird scolding looks and a few curses instead of holding it’s feet. Marlene sighed and grabbed the letter from Lily’s hand. Without hesitation she seized the legs and quickly tied the letter to one of them. 

”You know, Petunia’s got a boyfriend now.” Marlene had her back turned towards Lily as she was picking out her own owl. 

”Hmm, that’s nice. Maybe she’ll stop being so stuck up.” The big brown one she usually used was apparently busy. 

”Marlene, stop it. I think it’s nice! Ver- Vermont? Verner? Something like that…” Marlene had picked a smaller light grey owl instead. It was jittery and jumped around. Probably wasn’t used that much. 

Dorcas had been trying to say something. She had tried to say something and Marlene had run away. The heavy ball of guilt in Marlene’s chest that grew heavier each time she thought of Dorcas weighed her down once again. There really was no point in it though. She had done the right thing. It wasn’t her fault that Dorcas had gotten in too deep. 

The wind was picking up and whistled through the tower. Marlene shivered and thought about how warm it was in their dorm. How warm it was in her bed. Under the covers. With another body pressed to hers as their breath merged into one and- 

Dammit. 

The little owl was nibbling on her shirt. She stuck her hand in her pocket and took out a little piece of ham from dinner. The owl shrieked and soared towards her hand, managing to bite Marlene’s finger in it’s hurry to get to the ham. Hissing she stuck her finger in her mouth. That little shit! 

”Do you have someone, Marlene?” Lily had been talking behind her as she struggled with the owl. 

”Whach?” Marlene turned around with her finger still in her mouth. She felt the taste of iron and shuddered.

”A boyfriend.” When Marlene scoffed and turned around again Lily continued. ”Or a girlfriend…?” 

Marlene cringed at how fast she turned to look at Lily. Scrambling to keep her pokerface. Lily’s face was bright and open as if she hadn’t just asked the most terrifying question in the world. 

There was no reason for Lily to know? Right? No, they had been secretive. As a matter of fact there was nothing to know. No-one was doing nothing with no-one. 

”Don’t be silly.” It sounded a lot angrier than Marlene had intended and she tried to conceal it with a smile. ”You know I don’t have a boyfriend.” 

Lily nodded with a hum and turned back to her owl to give it a bit of sausage. Marlene let out a breath. She really didn’t like keeping things from Lily but this was an emergency. There were some things not even Lily could know about. 

It’s not that Marlene thought it was wrong or bad to be a lesbian. She just wasn’t one. Simple. 

”What about Dorcas?” Lily was suddenly next to Marlene grabbing her hand to look at her finger. 

”What about Dorcas?” Marlene’s voice was sharp and a little higher than she would have wanted. 

”Well, I sorta thought that you two…” Lily was turning her hand to get a better look and Marlene’s brain was speeding through her life and imagining her funeral now that she’s without a doubt about to die. She snatched her hand back and just about slapped Lily in the process. 

”No!” That came out way too fast and Marlene heard the desperation in her own voice. Lily’s face revealed that she had heard it too. ”What about you and Potter?” 

Thankfully Lily’s face got bright red and she slapped Marlene’s shoulder. Potter was a soft spot and an easy topic to switch to. Mumbling to Marlene to shut up and mind her business Lily turned to pick up her bag. 

It wasn’t until they had gone down the stairs and was well on their way back to the common room that Marlene’s heartbeat slowed down and her breathing evened out.


	2. What I Need

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: homophobia (parents)

In a world where you’re not potentially in love with your best friend and roommate it might not be hard to go to the bathroom. Dorcas Meadowes was not living in a world like that. 

They were five girls living in the dorm and over the years they had all become quite comfortable with sharing a bathroom. However, it’s entirely different to walk in on your normal roommate showering than it is walking in on the one you were sleeping with a few days ago. Six days and 11 hours ago. Not that Dorcas kept count. 

Dorcas had been alone in the dorm. An afternoon like many others. With a sigh she relaxed onto her bed. Her head hurt and she closed her eyes. She needed a glass of water. A loud groan escaped her lips as her back protested her getting up again. Her eyes felt sandy and heavy. Dorcas rubbed them until she saw stars. She hadn’t slept all that well in… well, about week. In an effort to wake herself she slapped her cheeks a few times and shook her head. 

With her hand on the door handle Dorcas heard the low and steady stream of water coming from the shower. She opened the door and saw Mary’s towel on the stool next to to the shower curtain. Without hesitation she walked up to the sink and grabbed a glass. The heat from the shower had fogged up the mirror and she wiped her hand across it a few times. As she examined herself she heard the water turn off. A hand shot out to grab the towel and a few seconds later there were two girls in the mirror. One tall, dark with a glass of water in hand and one shorter, blonde with Mary’s towel around her body. 

Marlene’s hair always got a few shades darker and almost straight when it was wet. Her skin was rosy from the hot shower and Dorcas swallowed her water slowly. 6 days ago Dorcas would’ve turned around, gotten a good look and pressed Marlene up against the wall. But not today. Today she couldn’t get her brain to work.

”That’s Mary’s” was what came out when she opened her mouth. Clever. Smart. Really showed how cool she was with being in a hot, steamy room with a naked Marlene. 

”Yes” Marlene’s voice was low and hoarse. There was something in her face that Dorcas couldn’t quite place. Fear? Excitement? Shame? All three? 

The rug under Marlene’s feet was slowly getting darker as time went on. The droplets gliding down her arms and chest colouring the towel was giving her goosebumps. And Dorcas couldn't really look away. A piece of hair had plastered itself against Marlene’s neck and was continuing down her chest under the towel. Dorcas cleared her throat. For a split second she swore she could see a small smirk flashing over Marlene’s face. 

”Could you hand me that?” Dorcas’ eyes shot up to meet Marlene’s again as the blonde spoke. Her hand was outstretched and pointing towards a piece of clothing on the counter. Her bra. 

Trying so hard not to be weird about this Dorcas put down the glass and picked up Marlene’s bra. It was the pink one. The one with no padding and a pretty lace covering the cups. Dorcas swallowed. The last time she had seen it she had been unclasping it and peeling it off of Marlene’s body.

But that was then and this is now. Nothing weird with handing a bra to one of your best friends, she decided and turned to face Marlene. In doing so she dropped the bra. Because what met her was not only Marlene, but Marlene with the towel around her waist. 

Feeling like a cartoon with her eyes jumping out of her head, Dorcas ducked to pick up the bra and hand it to a, now clearly, smirking Marlene. She then promptly faced the sink and began washing her hands, not lifting her gaze once. 

Again, under normal circumstances, Dorcas would’ve lifted Marlene up on the counter, letting the towel fall to the floor and showed her exactly how much this affected her. And this image would not leave Dorcas’ mind. Her hands on Marlene’s thighs, inching closer and closer to her hips. Marlene’s hands in Dorcas’ hair, her head thrown back against the mirror and a steady rhythm of shallow breaths filling the bathroom. 

It wasn’t until Marlene had left the bathroom (not without making a scene of putting on her bra; fixing the cups again and again, caressing them with deep care), that Dorcas let herself lift her head. Irritated she noticed how her cheeks and neck had turned a deep shade of red. But instead of the usual butterflies that would fill her stomach she felt as though there was a white hot stone tearing up her insides. 

In the dorm room she found Marlene brushing her hair. Her back turned towards the bathroom door. Now wearing a pair of trousers but still no shirt. 

”What do you think you’re doing?” Dorcas almost hissed.

”Brushing my hair, Dorcas” Marlene turned around with an innocent smile. Dorcas had had enough.

”No. I mean what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Gesturing towards the bathroom she took a step closer towards Marlene. ”How do you think this is okay?”

Marlene’s smile had been washed away and instead she looked back with furrowed brows. ”Dorcas, I- I was just teasing…”

”And why the fuck would you do that?” The stone in Dorcas’ stomach was threatening to close up her throat. She swallowed, forcing it down. She would not cry in front of Marlene. ”You ended it. You told me you didn’t want this anymore and then you go and fucking tease me?!” 

The silence was thick as Dorcas waited for Marlene to say something. When that didn’t happen, she sighed. 

”I don’t know about you but for me this last week has been hard, Marlene. I’ve had to leave rooms and conversations because if I’m not careful I might just walk right up and kiss you.” Dorcas shook her head and rubbed a hand over her mouth. She felt the first stubborn tears wet her eyes. ”I miss kissing you, okay? I miss it but I’ve fucking-” 

A breath caught in her throat and she swallowed down the stone.

”I don’t know! I fucking haven’t! I let you be because that’s what you said you wanted. You said-”

The rest of the sentence was cut off by Marlene. She had taken the last few steps forward and wrapped her arms around Dorcas. Letting Marlene rest her head on her chest Dorcas felt her shirt get wet. It felt good. It felt so good. Having Marlene’s arms around her again. Having her hair close enough to smell her shampoo. Having her. 

Marlene let out a small breath. She opened her mouth against Dorcas’ chest and whispered something.

Dorcas stroked her hair and hummed. ”What?” 

Marlene lifted her head and let go of Dorcas’ body. She took a few steps back and looked into the red eyes of the girl before her. She cleared her throat. ”I’m sorry Dorcas. I really am. But-” 

But. Dorcas felt the stone grow even bigger and hotter. 

”But I can’t.” Marlene’s voice sounded broken. Her mouth quivering. ”I can’t.”

Dorcas didn’t stay to hear if she had anything else to say.

-

Herbology was quiet and hard without help. Marlene was struggling significantly with her Snargaluff while her usual study partner was up by Prof. Sprout chatting about assignments for extra credit. Dorcas was top of their year and Prof. Sprout had taken a liking to her their first year. It was infuriating to watch how Dorcas was handling her Snargaluff with such ease. Marlene’s Snargaluff’s vines were everywhere, one of them in her hair, another on its way down her bag. 

”Dammit. I. Hate. You” she hissed at the plant and gasped when it tugged hard on her hair.

”How’s that working out for you Marley?” Sirius Black, who was standing on the other side of the table was smirking at her. He really shouldn’t be so cocky though, because without Remus he would have been in the same position as Marlene. 

”Eat shit, Black” 

Finally ridding herself of the plant and rescuing a quill that was dangling from one of the vines, Marlene took a deep breath and decided she was done with todays class. Instead of grabbing a new pot she spent a ridiculous amount of time taking notes. 

Reaching in to grab her hair tie from her bag her fingers grazed a crumbled up piece of paper. She snatched her hand back as if she had been burned. After a quick look around she reached in again and pulled it out. With the buzz of her classmates in the background she uncrumbled the letter from her parents. She had gotten it a few weeks before and only read it once. Smoothing it against her notebook she began reading.

”Hi, honey.

We hope you had a comfortable train ride and that you got to the school safely. Your dad and I are really hoping you look after yourself and take care of your grades. Sixth year is  
important and it’s time you start looking at careers. You are good at healing spells, we think you should really consider healing as a profession. Imagine that, our daughter at St Mungos! 

That Lily is a good girl. She is going to go far. Why don’t you bring her home more often? She has such a good influence on you. Do try to stay out of trouble, Marlene.

p.s Your dad and I found that inappropriate magazine you had hid under your bed. I don’t want to snoop but I do hope that was one of your male friends’ magazines. You know how much  
problem came to that girl down the street when she decided to live such in an improper way of life. 

We love you, honey! Have a wonderful term!  
Mum”

Marlene stared at a bag of dirt trying to not let the lump in her throat get too big. She gripped the paper harder and slowly started to rip it apart. Little tiny pieces of parchment fell over her lap. 

For a few minutes she just sat there, staring in front of herself. Then, after a while she started looking at her classmates. Two classmates in particular. Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. 

Sirius was messing with one of the vines from the Snargaluff, trying to make Remus laugh. It worked, Remus was laughing. But that wasn’t the most interesting part. What Marlene really found fascinating was the way Sirius was looking at Remus. Marlene knew those looks. His eyes kept chasing Remus’ and he would light up when he got the other boy’s attention. Sirius laughed at anything Remus said and kept making sure they were standing close. Marlene glanced at James to see how he reacted to this but he seemed to not notice. Looking back at Remus and Sirius she had to cough in order to mask her gasp. Sirius and Remus’s hands had touched as they were reaching for a hoe and Sirius’ face was now a matching colour to his Gryffindor tie. 

Marlene bit her cheek. Holy shit. Sirius’s got it hot for Remus! Shaking her head and smiling at her lap she suddenly felt her heart sink. There layed the scattered pieces of her mother’s words and they brought her back to reality. With a heavy breath she looked at Sirius. There was no way that a family like the Blacks would be happy that their oldest son was into blokes. 

As Prof. Sprout dismissed the class Marlene and Sirius’s eyes met and he winked at her. She smiled back, because she had gotten an idea. 

-

”I need to talk to you, Black” Marlene had marched right up the the boys who were sitting next to the fire in the Gryffindor common room. James and Sirius was in the middle of a discussion on something stupid while Peter and Remus were playing wizards chess. Marlene impatiently tapped her foot on the floor and sighed. ”Hello?”

”So talk” Sirius sent her a big, toothy smile and turned back to James who snickered. With a flick of her wand Marlene sent a spell towards Sirius and flicked him in the face. Appalled he stood up.

”In private” Marlene stated before heading for the boys dorm. 

Catching up with her outside the door Sirius grabbed her arm. ”Hey! Wha- why my dorm?”

”Last time I checked you couldn’t go into our dorms. Or is it something I’ve missed?” He looked at her and scratched his head. 

”Uh, right” laughing he opened the door. 

The boys dorm was not a sight for sore eyes. Clothes scattered all over, a few suspicious crumbled up paper towels and a big kettle of… something, in the middle of the room. Trying to excuse the mess Sirius pushed some books and a towel of his bed and offered her to sit down. 

”So…?” he started, leaning against the bedpost. 

”I think you should be my boyfriend” Marlene didn’t look at him as she said it. Her eyes fixed on a weird stain on the wall. She could only hear Sirius take a deep breath and then cough. 

”Wow Marley. You know, I am flattered but-” he was running a hand through his hair and seemingly trying to make his voice less shocked. 

”Oh shut up, you wanker! I don’t want a boyfriend, I need one. In the same way I don’t think you want a girlfriend…?” Marlene had stood up as Sirius went quiet. His mouth a gaping hole and his eyes big as saucers. All colour was drained from his face and Marlene at once felt a very strong feeling of solidarity with the boy. She reached out to touch his arm. 

”How- um. How did you…?” Sirius, desperately trying to keep his cool and come back from the initial chock straightened up and shrugged out of her touch. His eyes still showed he truth though, big and flickering. 

”I just noticed some things.” Marlene let her hand sink. ”It’s not obvious or anything” she quickly added when Sirius’ face grew even whiter. He nodded slowly and once again dragged a hand through his hair. 

”No, yeah. This is probably a good idea” Sirius had calmed down a bit after a while and was now cooperating with her. ”You are my girlfriend. I’m your boyfriend…” 

”Yeah. We need rules” Marlene hadn’t thought this through but Lily had once told her about some muggle movie where they did this and that couple had had rules. Of course, they ended up falling in love in the end. ”You can hug, touch and be near me when we’re in public. But don’t you dare come close when it’s not necessary”

Energetically Sirius nodded. ”Good rule”

After a few minutes of silence Marlene slapped her knee and headed for the door. ”Well, see you around. Boyfriend”

Sirius laughed a watery laugh and tucked some hair behind his ear. The colour had started coming back to his face where he sat on his bed and Marlene smiled as she closed the door behind her. However, she hadn’t even reached the stairs when her arm was grabbed yet again. 

”Can I tell my parents about you?” Sirius whispered.

Marlene though for a bit. That would really make it official. And she had planned to tell her own parents. 

”Sure. As long as I don’t have to meet them.” 

”No! No, you really don’t…” Sirius smiled and his eyes were once again glimmering with mischief. ”Good night…babe” 

Marlene rolled her eyes but thought to herself that she was lucky to have that idiot of a friend.


End file.
